Friends vs Husbands

June 1, 2010

I think it is unfortunate that people try to find a husband or wife as if there is a position which needs filled. We don’t go about finding new friends this way: we encounter a person, see if we like them, how we get along, and then if we feel a desire to interact with them again, we arrange it. We are friends with them because we like to be around them, we have fun with them, they are people with whom we feel comfortable.

(I’ll speak from the perspective of women, while assuming men act in similar ways and with similar motivations.)

On the other hand, we women approach men as if we are in need of finding someone, and we’re looking for a person that will fit into our mold. We lineup the man to what we’re imagining, what we’re trying to find, what our “list” has on it. “Well, I always wanted someone who plays piano…” “He doesn’t have anger issues, that’s good!” “You should see all the accomplishments on his resume.” Yes, very well and good, they are a good person who will provide. But how much does that count for how much you really enjoy that person? Is it difficult not to contact them? Do you feel like your time is more enjoyable, that you’re more fun, that life is just better when you’re around them? Or is it just that they’ll do? they’re husband material? they’re the type of man you imagined yourself with?

Why do we feel as if we are in need of finding someone? Wouldn’t we rather marry a friend who we can’t NOT be with?

Silver Lining

May 6, 2010

“An element of hope or a redeeming quality in an otherwise bad situation… Derived from John Milton’s Comus (1634): ‘A sable cloud turns forth its silver lining on the night.'” Sable means dark, by the way; thank you Dictionary.com for both entries. The point of all this is the shortened phrase silver lining. I think some people may not realize this is originally in reference to dark clouds. Once we’ve established that fact, what does that mean? That it’s beautiful regardless? No. There is sun behind it (or the moon, rather, as the light is silver instead of gold). The silver lining is because the moon is making a silhouette of the cloud from behind, just as someone walking toward you is seen as a dark figure and outlined in light.

It doesn’t just mean there is good coming, but that good is present. Likely we can’t see it, limited view as we possess from down here on the ground. Imagine though you’re in an airplane on a cloudy day, only to slip through the cloud fluff and blink against the bright sky above. The cloud will pass, and the moon will be clear again. Good is always coming, always present, though few have at all times the courage and the simplicity to believe it.

Common Title Here

May 3, 2010

“Hello World!” is supposed to be the title of this first blog, but how many have you read that start that way, really? And, while we’re questioning, how many are actually addressing the entire world? I’d like to say that’s my audience, but I fear I’m not confident enough to assume the entire world will relate to this. And there, it started.

There; that wasn’t so difficult, now was it? I have had this blog set up for two weeks now, feeling as if every few days I had a thought to share to the (digital, blog-reading) world. Since then, however, I never feel as if a thought is remarkable enough to be my first mark on the blogsphere. Instead, I think perhaps the fact of the blog’s existence will suffice.

I’m generally anti-blog. I would never, for instance, be a person who read this, who stumbled upon someone’s blog and thought it worthy enough to take the time to read. Why so conceited, then, to assume the blog-reading world will pay attention to mine? First of all, if there are people who read blogs for fun, why not mine? And if it IS mine, at least it’ll be hopeful, encouraging, something thoughtful at the very least. Maybe actually a fun one instead of one full of pictures from the proud owner of a funny-faced dog.

Second, it’s partially insignificant if anyone else reads this. It might be that my own journal isn’t enough of an outlet anymore, but the possibility that my thoughts could mean something to someone, and could inspire comments(!) which, in turn, further inspire my thinking — well that’s all quite exciting, isn’t it? But just having this outlet is a good and beneficial thing for the writer, I believe. My sister and I just tonight had the conversation that it’s helpful for her to write a letter of admiration to a celebrity, even considering the slim chance they’ll ever read it; it makes her feel better, as if something has been done about it all. Along these lines, there is Facebook, Twitter, things of that nature — but they’re not anonymous. There’s only so much you can say on these sites, because your grandma, your parents’ friends, your friend-boys-who-are-potential-interests, all read it and pretty much know YOU by these status updates. You can’t reveal yourself on these sites. Hence the lack of a real name or location in my info. If, in your comments, you wish to have the same anonymity, please, do so. I would much prefer honesty than personal data.

And with that, my first blog completed. Perhaps still a bit cliched, the explanation of the blog’s existence as my introduction. Hopefully, though, something to mentally chew on.

ps — I am trying with as much attention as possible to avoid overused sayings, especially those that don’t properly mean what I intend. Feel free to direct my attention to such wordings.